i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
