I think I just saw someone hide a body.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
