He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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