Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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