Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
