you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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