i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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