i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
