how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
