Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
