If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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