I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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