If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
