I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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