Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize