Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
