Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
