Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
