Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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