So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
