I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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