Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Houston, we have a blender
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
