These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
