i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
