I must be too annoying 4 u.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
