ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
