Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You're like the curious george of whores
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
