yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
