very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
