Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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