Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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