Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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