OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
