I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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