The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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