i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
