Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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