I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
