I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
