This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
