No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
