dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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