Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
