Will you blow on my dice?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
