I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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