You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
