from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
