i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
