like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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