he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize