Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize