So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
