You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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