she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
