and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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