It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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