Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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