i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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