i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
