I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
